Archive for January, 2012

If I’m sleeping…dont wake me up!

I just had the most amazing evening.  So amazing that sometimes I wonder if this is really my life. Let me tell you a little about it.

Tonight I was in my office working at The Edge before my leader meeting.  My son was leading worship in the sanctuary for youth group. I love hearing him sing through the walls of my office that is tucked behind the stage.  Then, one of our new freshman girls, Cassady,  brought her friend over to meet me.  It was her friend’s first time at The Edge.  She had come over to study and hang out during Cassady’s weekly coffee bar shift she volunteers for.  We chatted for a bit at my door.  Since we were talking a while I told them to just come on in and sit down in the comfy chairs.  This young woman was very hesitant when we invited her to Chi Alpha on the following night. However, before long she really was opening up and talking about her desire to re-connect with her faith.  As her story poured out, we found common ground.  She was a birth mom.  I instantly had tears in my eyes and leaned over to her and said “I am so proud of you!”  She was a bit surprised and said “That isn’t the reaction I usually get.  Usually people say ‘What? You had a kid?'”   “You need to know”, I said “my daughter is adopted.”  I told her a little of the story of my beautiful Ellie.  I showed her pictures and we really connected at a heart level.  I was able to share with her my sincere appreciation for birth mothers and the amazing sacrifice they have done to give their child a life they could not.  I knew that I knew that God had ordered her steps to my door that night, and I told her that. This young woman was so intelligent, mature and confident that it was amazing.  This led to her telling me about the guilt she felt from not living up to the standards she had once had for herself.  She also had such guilt for the pain she had caused to her parents and other relationships.  I looked at this girl and almost could see the load of guilt and shame she carried.  I knew THIS was a critical moment in her life.  God had led her footsteps to my door and  I was not going to let her go by just saying “You should come back to Chi Alpha tomorrow”.  Tonight was her night, I just KNEW it.  So, I did something I have not yet done in my little office.  I looked into this beautiful girl’s face and said “Do you want to be free?  Do you want to pray and be free of that load of guilt you have been carrying around for so long? We can do that right now.  You don’t have to wait”.  I barely got it out of my mouth and she said “Yes!  I don’t know what to say but you can pray.  Please.”  I told her I would pray and that if it was alright she could then just repeat a few sentences so that it would be her prayer too.  She said she’d like that.  Then, there in my little office, I had the amazing experience of personally leading her to Christ.  I wish you could have seen her face when she looked up.  It was actually glowing!  And then I looked at Cassady. She was RADIATING.  You see, Cassady had been best friends with this young lady since 7th grade.  She said no one had stuck with her like Cassady.  She also said that she knew that Cassady had something she needed, and she was determined to figure that out and have that a part of her life also.  I looked at Cassady and said “I think your friend Cassady, here, has been praying for this  very moment…haven’t you Cassady?”  Cassady could hardly answer…she was BRIMMING from ear to ear..and her eyes were full!  “YES!”  she said.  “Cassady, how long have you been praying for your friend?”  Cassady looked at her and said “I have been praying for you since I met you in 7th Grade.”  It was such an amazing moment as the girls hugged and hugged each other.

In that moment I had the amazing realization that somehow, in God’s divine plan, He decided that I got to be a part of this experience.  How could this be?  Who am I that I get to walk this walk with these amazing, beautiful college students at Winona State?   I get to be there when they are searching, discovering who they are , wondering what their purpose is, wrestling through life’s greatest questions.  How is this my life?  How is this a “job”?  I absolutely cannot tell you how blessed and humbled I felt at that moment.    Once again I thought “I never saw this coming, but I also feel like this is exactly what I was created for and exactly what I want to do forever.”

Lord, who am I that you would choose to use me.  I am humbled and in awe of the way you always choose “the least of these”.  I am nothing special.  I have no great talents.  All I know is that God has put me on this campus for such a time as this, and I will continue to do what he calls me to do each day to the best of my feeble ability.  Today, it was to help a young girl have her burdens removed that she had carried for long, long time.  She is free..and I am blessed  just watching God do HIS work in her life.

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Right where I need to be

I have been a part of some meetings/gatherings lately that have confirmed I am right where I need to be. I loved being at SALT with al of my college students. I feel right at home on campus at WSU…even though I supposed many my age would feel out of place. It’s funny how recently I sat in a setting that I SHOULD have felt comfortable in…and I felt like a fish out of water. It was a setting that many people my age and with my life experience should embrace….yet I felt like I couldn’t understand any of the thought processes displayed by those involved. I was with a friend who left the gathering totally jazzed and invigorated! I left totally frustrated. At first it was a maddening feeling. However, I then realized it was ok. My friend was EXACTLY where God had placed them, and I was EXACTLY where I needed to be also. It’s kind of a crazy experience, but yet by the end it was very comforting and reassuring. I am right where I am supposed to be…and it feels great.